You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
