Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
