put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
