the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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