I'm jealous of your bromance
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
