Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
