i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
