I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize