I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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