if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
