Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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