i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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