Who wears a wallet chain?!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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