i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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