just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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