I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
