i need an iv and a liver transplant
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
