Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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