Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Can I color on your dick again?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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