I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
