Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
