You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
