if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
