i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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