is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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