OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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