I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
