Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
