If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
