I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
