what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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