How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
