another moral hangover. fuck.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
