i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
