jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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