Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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