Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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