PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
