so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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