I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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