We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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