just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
