I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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