I'm going to jail i love you
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
