Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm like, not good at living.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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