apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
