Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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