In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize