Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
