could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
