At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
