she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
