Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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