Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
