plz talk dirty to me
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
