All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
