grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
