Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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